Alone!

Its been more than a semester now I've been here.. I cant say that i hate the university nor the environment here.. Its such a getaway from all the hustle n bustle of the city that I live in. Its much more greener here, fresher air, and more relaxing environment all in all.. However, I still dont feel comfortable here. Why is that so??

I cant seem to understand how people's thinking here works. Certain people seems to be smiling and laughing ever so friendly in front of you but behind your back, they started to show their true color. I dont understand what do they really want from me.. What do they want from me actually?

I'm only sought after when Im able to help them in their duties or work. Whenever during leisure, I seem to be the one ignored. What am I? A robot able to compute answers when Im required to and ignored when the task is completed? I havent seen a single person who has turned to me to do something fun or to involve in something just silly enough to have a good time.

It has been extremely frustrating to think that i have another 2 more years to go with this bunch. I do appreciate them for whom they are, but personally, I havent found anyone whom Im able to joke, hang-out and have a good time with. It has only been Facebook and I.. Or the computer in general. Such a shame to think of that Im going to spend 3 years without someone worthy of keeping fond memories off.



I hate to be alone, and most of the time, I am alone, and I dont see that changing in anytime soon. I just wish I could be back in my hometown where I can meet some of my REAL friends. Im thinking of 1 specific person as I'm writing this. I just hope I could be around with you right now. I know you're going through a very hard time now, but I just want to be there to lend a shoulder to lean on.

I hope another 2 years just flies by. It doesnt really matters to me if Im ignored for another 2 years. It has been a common thing. Those who did not have the opportunity to know me well, I pity them.. I think Im a decent enough person. I dont care if you think Im praising myself right now. But I know myself better than any of you do..